we're blogging at a bar
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
