butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
