I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
