You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
