i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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