I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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