You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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