Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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