Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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