This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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