I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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