Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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