The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
