I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
