OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize