Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
