He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
