You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
