also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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