took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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