im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
