He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Ketchup is God's man juice
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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