yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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