Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
