it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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