he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
