I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My cat gives me a boner
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
