Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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