It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize