chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
