I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
