Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
wow bdsm is so cute
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
