Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
