I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
