Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize