I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
