I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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