Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
