So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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