Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
