I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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