No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
