And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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