covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
