Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
