I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
