Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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