how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
