i just had sex bonerless
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's blow job season.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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