maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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