the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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