so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
