She's JV to your varsity
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
