you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
